The perfect pass

The Perfect Pass

One day when I was in office with a Doctor friend, one of the local politicians (LP from now on) belonging to the ruling party came to my office. He was not an MLA, but one who held a party position and also a post in one of the umpteen positions created to place ‘prominent’ and ‘loyal’ party workers. After the customary salutations, as he sat down I could sense in his body language that today he was a man on a mission. There was a distinct lack of warmth in his smile. My mind rewinded to the last encounter  I had had with him in which I had categorically told him my inability to issue a gun license to one of his many sychophants. 

“Gun license?”, I asked in an inquisitive tone.

He shook his head and told me that he had brought along with him a delegation to discuss a very serious matter. The ‘delegation’ was waiting outside and I would have to resolve their problem “positively”. Now ‘delegation’ and ‘positively’ are two terms which need to explained in the context of government offices. A delegation can be twenty or thirty or more number of people but is often used to describe small groups in which the number of people is greater or equal to two or three. Hence, i admit i was not surprised when a grand delegation of three people made their way into my office.  “Positively” means to get the work done even if it involved a minor or major ( purely depends on the circumstances)  tweak/ tinker of a rule or system here or there.

“Sir, you have shut down our de-addiction centre”, one of them quipped. I knew this matter well. We had received an anonymous complaint a few days earlier about a local advertisement in which a de addiction centre was being offered as a solution to the larger drug abuse menace. I had asked the local magistrate to check if they had their documents and qualifications in order to which the response was expectedly negative. Off the 12 people found most were from outside the state. The person running the centre was simply a high school drop out. Also, complaints of the unscientific manner of treatment such as locking up the wards in dark rooms and giving them occasional thrashings to ‘curb’ the problem were quite well known.

My first reaction was to tell them that they did not have the requisite documents/ clearances to run such a place to which the LP interjected, almost menacingly, by saying they had all the papers and we had been very unfair to them.  I was quite taken aback by such aggressive assertion on his part. I asked him to show it to me in response to which one of the three ‘delegates’ handed me a file. On opening the file i realised that they were showing the certificate of registration of the society but not a trace of any permission for running a deaddiction centre could be found. I calmly explained the same to them to which they responded saying that all such institutions were running on the same lines. I coolly remarked that in that case we would have to do the same to them.  However, such logic this did not seem to be cutting much ice with them.

Rules and regulations based on pure logic rarely do. Then one of them remarked, “ Can we not atleast continue the centre for a few more days? Where will our “patients” go?” So, here I was trying to uphold rules and regulations framed by the collective wisdom of the many wise heads in Government but yet falling short to convince these people who were , in their own right, messiahs of deaddiction. I realised that I was in the danger of coming across as ‘anti’ a good cause. I was walking a tight rope.

I shot a helpless look at the Doctor who looked back at me. Aghast. Just then Mr L, the ADM entered the room. He sat in the corner after saying the customary salutations. It was then that I changed my tune. “ What if one of your patients falls ills or has an accident? Have you got insurances against such incidents?”, I asked looking up at the ‘delegation’. Their reaction clearly showed that they had no clue what to say. After the initial pause , they looked at each other and shook their heads. “ Do you realise if one of them dies or falls ill, their parents can actually take you to court? If you are properly registered there is no problem but in case you  would be booked under section 420 ( a host of others)  and could land up in serious trouble.”

This seemed to have penetrated them as they started nodding their heads.

I continued, “a few days ago a man from UP who was working for a contractor fell from a roof of a government building and died. A few days later a court from Sitapur sent a summon to the contractor. Not only did he pay two and a half lakhs to hush up and comprise but also got 110/180 blood pressure in the process . Tell me, is it worth it?”

The LP now turned to look at the three accompanying him. “ Yes, these Khans who pick up our luggage have recently done a few cases against our party workers in Kishtwar. It was a nightmare. First, to reach that place is a task in itself and then you have the threat of militants abducting you on the way.......”

I interrupted his speech.“ In this case, since all the inmates are from Punjab, it will be the Punjab police that will be dealing with you”, and with that an amusing, wicked smile forced itself on my countenance. And even before I could say anything one of the ‘delegates’ blurted out, “ they can be really bad, sir. A friend of mine got picked by them during our college days in Jullundhar and it took a month for him to sit properly on his buttocks.”

So, it is to protect not so much the inmates but you that we would want you to register and get your papers in order, I said. With a rather crestfallen yet acknowledging look they looked at each other and then at LP. He was their last hope. He glanced at me as if to ask if anything could be done. Sure, I said, we could put them in touch with the office who issues these permissions. Just when the three men were rising I offered a cup of tea.

LP then slipped a piece of paper into my hand. Gun license, I asked with a smile. “You have clamped down on those totally. Just some funds are required for constructing this road for my village.” I nodded my head meaning it would be done.

A few people entered my office with their grievances. While I spoke to them the ADM and LP spoke to each other. LP seemed to be telling the ADM how the de addiction centre could not carry on its work for the lack of a license. Just when the people left my office LP decided to leave. Just when he was exiting, the ADM said, “ Very good work with the apple movement LP sahib. This year was exceptionally good. You did a great job.”

I looked up and asked LP , “ What have you done exceptionally different this time?”

A cocky smile appeared on his face, “ Clamped down on all illegal elements like these arthis (Middlemen) who were buying fruits without our permission.  In addition, all roadside sellers also have to be formally registered with us. We have issued licenses this year for the first time.”

This was amusing. When it came to regulating the apple business, licenses were fine. However, when it came to ensuring that deaddiction centres run as per the law, a different tune was being played out. This was the golden opportunity I was looking for. It was in cricketing terms, a nicely flighted delivery bowled by the ADM on which LP had gone for a big six only to find me standing on the boundary waiting to catch the ball.

“Licensing and registration is good, you mean?”, I asked, haltingly.

“Ofcourse”, his face lit up. “It’s the only way to curb these illegal elements.”

“ LP sahib, these were the words I was waiting to hear for so long. Please repeat that for me to these people.” I lifted my head in the direction of the Deaddiction messiahs, who had just finished their cups of tea.

He was stunned. A blank expression came over his face. Trapped in his own bravado and boasting, he had no choice but to dissolve his facial expression into a smile. The smile said it all. Game, Set and Match.

All four of them left my office smiling. I had nailed my point, courtesy the perfect set up by the ADM. He had been hearing the entire conversation and had realised that to put the matter beyond anybody’s doubt, a small trap would have to be laid. LP had fallen for it. Hook, line and sinker. The best part was that he knew it. His own logic had been used to disarm him in front of his delegates. 

The good part was that he had been sporty enough to take this one lightly.

The three of us enjoyed a good laugh when we were finally left alone. I described the cricketing analogy to the ADM and the Doctor.

“Sir, I am no cricket fan. I like Football,” said the doctor.

So how would you describe the same instance, I asked amusingly.

“Sir”, he cleared his throat. “Three Words. The perfect pass.”

The ADM and I looked at each other and burst into another explosion of laughter.